My Never
by Spliced-up-Angel
Summary: A one-sided songfic oneshot to the song "My Never" by Blue October. Cody writes in his diary about Gwen.


**Hey, its just something short I wrote after my history exam (since I finished it early). I don't know why I keep writing about Gwen regardless of my dislike for the character. I suppose it's because I like her character design the best (next to Heather's original design and Dakota's original). Anywhore, it was going to be a Harold/Heather oneshot, but I thought Cody would play the role better (and the thought of Cody writing in a diary kills me). I tried to keep him in character as much as possible, so hopefully it worked. Since it's one-sided you can probably tell who likes who.. So, enjoy and please review to get fresh pancakes *sings Owen's pancake song***

My Never

_Will you think of me in time..._

Dear diary,

I walked her home again today. Well, followed would be a better term considering I was holding her books as she walked beside the boyfriend of whom I am not found of. I suppose tool would be the correct word to call me, heh, but I prefer lovesick. Face it, she's beautiful. I can't help thinking of her. Her teal hair that drapes just bellow that pale face in which turns red whenever she is embarrassed (I die inside just thinking about it). Her small eyes. They are like Stallions, black as night. I swear I can gaze in them all day. Not to mention the body of hers; it's like Leonardo Da Vinci sculpted it. So perfect...

"You realize that you don't have to follow me everyday, Cody; I have a boyfriend." she told me, turning her head to face me. Oh, Gwen, so thoughtful. Her personality is another trait that reels me in; she's so abstract and mysterious. I want to learn more about her. 

_...Its never my luck, so never mind..._

I remember her last boyfriend. He was one of her few tolerable boyfriends. Actually, I hooked them up (got a bra out of it, too -score for the Codemeister!). I convinced myself that whatever makes her happy, makes me happy. As a ladies man, I've grown smooth enough to win chicks over with happiness. In reality, my luck with the ladies hasn't been all that great. Nether the less, I'm just happy to help out.

"Gwen," I said, trying to be smooth, "babe-" I was cut off by her new boyfriend's glare. I admit to being intimidated by him. There's nothing nice about him. Okay, he's a total jerk who doesn't deserve her. I want to punch him so badly, but I fear that would mark my deathbed. "I don't mind, really," I smiled in my happy-go-lucky way. I try to have an optimistic view on life, no matter how hard it is. "They're not that heavy," I lied. They had to be at least fifty tones. If it is what I need to take for love...

She shrugged and bit her lip in the way that drives me crazy. She then muttered, "if you say so," and continued walking. The jerk elapsed his arm around her waste. It was so obnoxious. I felt so jealous.

Why can't I be him? I slowly continued walking behind my dream girl. Oh, Gwen, I've only dreamed of what it would be like to have her for myself. I have dreamed of feeling her cold lips pressed against mine; the only warmth is of our bodies. I want us to embrace. To be intertwined by an eternal bond, like an unbreakable knot. I want nobody to break us apart.

_...I had a dream that you were with me. It wasn't my fault. You rode me over, flipped me over; like a somersault..._

The clouds above us began to turn grey. We were about to cross over to Gwen's community, when the clouds began crying softly. It wasn't poring, it was spitting. I couldn't stand to watch the beauty get wet, so I did what I had to. I took off my sweater, to hand it to her. I had waited for Gwen to look my way until I took off my sweater in the most irresistible way possible. I smirked to myself, knowing I've been working out. Sure, I'm still scrawny, but I have at least a two-pack. That's one thing to be proud of now, isn't it? Gwen gave me a questioned look as her boyfriend proceeded to take out an umbrella. I really hate that guy. I slowly put my sweater back on, scowling at him.

_I try to take you to that place I thought you wanted to go, but end up dancing around; this clown demands an applause at his show_

If you met this girl, you would love her too. I guess a book can't hold emotion, though. Noah has to keep reminding me that. It's funny, Izzy convinces me that you do have feelings. Speaking of which, there is a huge love triangle going on between Owen, Izzy and Noah. I wouldn't mind a love triangle if it meant I could be with Gwen...

The friend zone is really a hard place to be. It's like being trapped in a transparent box; trudging forever in no man's land, trying to avoid bombs or thick mud that would suck you in and slow you down. There is that small voice in my mind that constantly reminds me that she doesn't love me; its difficult to ignore. I really hope she comes to her senses.

_...I wanna be with you but somehow I'll end up just losing a friend. I can only reach for you, relate to you. I'm losing my friend. Where did she go? Where?..._

The intersection onto her street was where we paired off. Like most days, I handed over her books; as she gave me a small, but nice smile. I looked at my never one last time before walking in the other direction to hopefully catch the next bus home.

_...I had a dream that you were with me, it wasn't my fault. you rode me over, flipped me over; like a somersault. That doesn't happen to me. I've never been here before. I saw forever in my never and I stood outside her heaven._I hope

Gwen falls for me one day.

-The Codemeister

**So, how was it? Please R&R.**


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